Carol Callicotte


Seriously? You’re Still Here? June 8, 2011

Filed under: Completely Off Topic,Crap,Funny stuff,Self deprecating humor — A French American Life @ 6:37 pm
Tags: , ,

Dear Five Pounds:

We’ve been through a lot. I mean, wow, we had a baby together! Had some good times, eating ice cream, chocolate, ditching workouts, squeezing into clothes we have no business wearing.

But our relationship has run its course. Really, I never intended for it to go on this long. Summer is coming, and I’m ready to move on. I know this isn’t what you want, you’ve made that clear. But you can’t say you haven’t had any warnings. You’ve seen me sweating through extra workouts, avoiding desserts. I’ve even stopped eating chocolate, that’s how bad this has become!

Despite all this, you still haven’t gotten the hint. You’ve become clingy and it’s really time to just go. Please don’t make me ask again. We are OVER. Leave now.

Sincerely but NOT affectionately,

Carol’s Body


Making My Way Back October 9, 2009

Filed under: Completely Off Topic,Crap,Projects,Travel,Writing — A French American Life @ 3:29 pm
Tags: ,

September was a busy month. We took a fabulous trip: Paris for a few days, then Greece, including a week-long sailboat trip through some of the Greek isles (read: not a cruise, but actual sailing. Two very different things!). As always happens when I return from vacation, I came back charged and ready to launch back into my writing projects. My vacation high didn’t last long; I returned to find that things at my PT clinic have been completely turned upside down, with the unfortunate result of my job becoming a hell of a lot harder. Ugh – insta-downer. And insta-buzz kill for my writing, too.

PT has been a struggle for me ever since I started in the field. There are many things about it that I do enjoy, but lots of things I don’t. Off and on over the years I’ve explored other possibilities, always with a bit of desperation to get out of the PT field. The recent changes plunged me right back into that place of questioning what on earth do I want to do with my life? The one thing that I keep coming back to is that PT gives me the opportunity to work part time so that I have time to write. And this is invaluable to me. Because while other passions and interests may ignite and slowly die for me, writing is a constant. No matter what else I may do, writing is essential to my existence.

Since this bombshell dropped at work, I’ve found that the only moments of peace have been when I’m writing; delving into the worlds I create. Well that, and eating chocolate with my amazing husband, who, no matter how freaked out about things I get, is always holding my hand and telling me he’ll support me no matter what I decide to do. And encouraging me to get writing, because he thinks I’m good at it. Which reminds me how lucky I am. So, today, I’m back to throwing myself heart and soul into my latest book. It feels good to be back. And it helps me cope with the struggles at my job, and even has me optimistic enough to admit that sometimes, change can be good. But one thing won’t change: I am, have been, and always will be, a writer.


Excavated from the Archives June 19, 2009

Filed under: Completely Off Topic,Funny stuff — A French American Life @ 6:01 pm
Tags: ,

Long ago, in another lifetime, I wanted to be a medical doctor. I got my degree in Microbiology, minored in Chemistry, and took the MCATs – the Medical College Admission Tests, abhorred by all pre-med students. It should have been a sign to me that after a nine hour day (Ten? Eleven? I can’t remember) of testing, I didn’t rush out to celebrate my accomplishment with pizza and beer, I didn’t zone out in front of the TV, and I certainly didn’t look up the answers to questions I’d been unsure of. No, I stayed up late, composing a poem. I make no claims to being a poet, but it’s obvious to me that the urge to write has long been a part of me. Disclaimer: this poem kind of sucks, but I’m still fond of it.


Oh, obstacle of obstacles,

Oh test of tests

As each day passes

I love you less.

What are you measuring?

What is it you ask?

What sick, devious mind,

Invented this task?

“Yawing moment,” “feed water,”

“Lift coefficient,” “ketones,”

When I hear these words

I cannot suppress my groans.

You twist, you taunt,

You tease, you scare.

The mere mention of you

Makes me rip out my hair.

What about my GPA?

And all my other stats?

What more do I have to prove

With the MCATs?

What I’ve learned over years

I review for weeks.

Those pre-med students you hear of?

I’m one of those geeks.

Then test day arrives

I’m up with the sun

Who am I kidding?

I’ve been up since one.

Take your seats, don’t talk,

Don’t eat, don’t smoke

The tension’s so thick

I think I might choke.

One day in a lifetime

Of hard work and strife

Will be the determiner

Of the course of your life.

My mind grows weary

As the clock ticks away

I can think of one billion ways

I’d rather spend my day.

Then it’s all over

Should I cry or laugh?

And what was the right answer

To that one about the giraffe?

Did I do well enough?

Only time will tell.

Never again do I want

To go through this hell!


I Have a New Nickname January 15, 2009

Filed under: Completely Off Topic,Funny stuff,Self deprecating humor — A French American Life @ 5:43 pm
Tags: ,

I’ve had a lot of nicknames in my life. Some will remain locked away in the darker moments of my past, where they belong, but some haven’t been so bad. There’s the obvious “CC” which I’ve always liked. My dad called me “Red.” Because of my red hair, not because I turn red at the slightest provocation. In high school basketball, I made a push for “Sure Shot Callicotte” but it didn’t take. Strangely, there was “CaroCal”, this one from a biology teacher who abbreviated all our names in this way. In grad school, I had a bob haircut and people told me I looked like Scully. Being a huge X-Files fan, I loved it. To this day, there is at least one classmate who never learned my real name. To him, I was Scully. More recently, when I became a Francophile, I also became “Le Carol.”

But a new one has been coined. And I have to say it’s my favorite. About a month ago, my good friend’s two year old patted her hair, pointed at me, and said “Ariel hair.” A few minutes later, she called me “Ariel.” As in the Little Mermaid. As in her favorite cartoon character. It melted my heart. And it seems to be sticking. She calls me “Ariel” (though it sounds like “Yoriel”) when she sees me. The other day, I was looking for my shoes and she found them, held them up, and said, “Ariel Hair shoes.” This nickname comes at a price – she’s always wanting to play with my hair. But still, I don’t think I’ll cut it short again. I’m enjoying being the little mermaid far too much.


Can’t you read!? August 6, 2008

Filed under: Completely Off Topic,Crap — A French American Life @ 6:49 pm
Tags: , ,


Supposedly, a picture speaks a thousand words, but this one, smack dab in the middle of our front lawn, apparently isn’t saying anything.  I just walked out to the smell of sun-ripened canine excrement, boldly laid at the base of this sign.  I’m about two stiff drinks away from turning into the neighborhood psycho, lurking behind my curtains and waiting for this miscreant pet owner to stroll by and pull the ol’ “I didn’t see anything” while his dog does his thing on my lawn.  Who does this?  Doesn’t anyone read Miss Manners anymore?

Actually, the French do it all the time.  You don’t actually walk down a street in France, you dodge all the merde.  But this is America, dammit, and we’re supposed to clean up after our own dogs.  Or you are, evil neighbor.  Beware, sloppy stranger, you have incurred my wrath one time too many.  And I put extra tequila in my margaritas tonight.